Je suis Tina!!! :))))

                    Hello, my name is Tina and I am currently a law student in Buffalo, New York.  Since I spend most of my time pursuing a degree that is becoming obsolete by the nano-second, I figured I might as well whore myself out to blogger-world in the meanwhile.  I’ve just started, but bear with me.  I don’t want to waste everyone’s time just converting all of my random thoughts into virtual spew (I must save that for my classes!) so for now, I guess I will just share a few tidbits about me and my motivation.

So basics about me:

1)      I’m 31. 

·         Not too old to be old.  Not too young to be young.  Caught in the middle.  I enjoy it and I’m grateful for the life I have.  Really, I am.  I haven’t always been but I’m getting there, to that place of gratitude where you realize, it’s going to be okay.  You can’t hide too well on these blogs so if I sound bitter or angry or sad, you’ll sense it.  But mostly I like to keep myself between zen and flabbergasted over the current state of world affairs.  But then I go zen again.  This can go on all day.  Meditation has changed my life. 

2)      I am unmarried and probably mest-gene deficient.  

·         I love kids more than anything.  I love my friends who have kids.  But, I’m not sure that I actually want one for myself.  Could I change?  Sure.  But right now I have a dog and even THAT’s difficult.  I love him more than life itself (will post picture), BUT nothing makes me more angry than having to stop reading a book or cooking myself a meal to take him out and take a shit.  I mean I do it, because I have to, but I resent it.  It’s like that.  Also, I suspect that all my co-dependent enabling has given him a slight Elektra complex but I’m not really sure. 

(It’s just that sometimes he starts panting when I cuddle with him…AAAHHHH, nevermind.)

3)      The current state of young American females depresses me. 

·         My sister (25) and cousin (21) are youngins.  I go to a state law school with a bunch of youngins.  Being 31, sure, I’m not old, but I’m not a youngin.  For me, a “youngin” is someone who has internet on their iphone or blackberry, grew up in the social media generation and knows how to do crazy things like add a hyperlink to a blog (which I will accomplish one day)!  They grew up in the land of reality T.V. and think that fame through sheer overexposure and no talent is okay.  They watch shows like “Kendra” or “Girls Next Door” and forget that those girls, as nice as they are, are hookers.  Kim Kardashian is their overlord.  Don’t get me wrong, the Kardashians are glamorous, and yes, the asinine shit that they say can be totally endearing and entertaining but they have completely retarded the growth of female intellectual development and quashed whatever previous desires for substantive rights we used to have.  I mean, yes, marriage and family are important but surgerying yourself to make you look hot enough so you can fuck your way into a marriage?  That makes me sad. 

4)      I was born in Taiwan, lived in Los Angeles as a child and moved to Buffalo when I was 9. 

·         I also lived in Venezuela, Colombia, England, Brazil and Miami in my 20s and am back in Buffalo again.  I consider Buffalo my home but I would like to go back and visit some of my ex-homes and tape them and share them with whoever is reading this.

5)      Last and most important thing for now before I force myself to outline Deterrance Theory.  I meditate and LOVE the spiritual world. 

·         I love this notion that everyone is a part of me, a piece of me and I am a piece of them and everything is as it should be.  After a crippling depression in my mid-20s, I embarked on a spiritual path (now mind you, this is just for me, it doesn’t work for everyone and if someone else had experienced depression and had to take a more chemical path that is just fine too, no shame in that game) but I began to read and yes, manifest many things.  One thing I realized is that the message is universal.  It didn’t matter if I were reading Deepak, Khalil, Rumi or Miguel Ruiz, the message was, essentially, the same.  For my 30^th birthday, I went to the Amazon Jungle and met a Shaman who had no access to electricity and lived in an indigenous hut about a kilometer into the jungle.  Even he had the same message.  The universal, mindful one.  This isn’t a spiritual blog but when I have more time, I am willing to share.  This path has done so much for me, but, the most important thing?  It’s taught me to rein in my ego and put that massive beast in the corner where it should be.  Of course it never stays there (or I wouldn’t be here writing) but at least I can now have a handle on her. 

                  I wish you all peace and good-will my friends.  Even to Kim, Snooki and those other girls who are distracting America while the Tea Party is toting guns into town hall meetings and putting forward good-looking history revisionists http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4SuzEWI_0o&feature=player_embedded# who are scarily influential yet like to make shit up and pass it off as factual information.  Even them.  Why?  Because no matter what, we are all humans, trying to play the game and we can only do our humble part.  And of course, in the big scheme of things, we are unimportant and this moment is really as it should be.

Good Night!

 My little panter...

Me in the Amazon Jungle...